No one likes a smart-ass

Frosh, holding cell phone: "Does this have a picture-taking thingy?"
Grad Student: "You mean a camera?"

-- Honolulu International Airport (HNO)

No comment.

Girl: "Slower, and harder. Down!"
Guy: "You're very patient."

-- Toyon Hall

'Gender Equality: Now Featuring Male Chauvinism'

Girl: "Wow, look at the cleavage on this bitch!"

-- Toyon Hall

As do the readers of this website.

Guy: "Computers ROCK!"

-- Castaño

"We have Bush-Cheney donors the size of Buicks!"

Girl: "You guys should come hunting at my ranch!"

-- Outside Wilbur dining

Stroking the p _ n _ s of your mind

Girl: "So, I guess it's intellectual masturbation ... but ... I mean, I do
enjoy it."

--Toyon Hall

Pelvic Thruster: The Sequel

Guy: "You have really powerful hips!"
Girl: "It's 'cause of my mom!"

--Toyon Hall

"Does the female form make you uncomfortable, Mr. Lebowski?"

Guy, looking at Georgia O'Keeffe poster: "I've seen better vag."

--Toyon Hall

But is she a shiksa?

Guy: "Aww, she pelvic-thrusted! That's not kosher!"

--Toyon Hall

Ph.D. in Eugenics

Undergrad: "Did you hear that he has a son?"
Alum: "Oh God, he reproduced?"

--Tressider Union

They're the new Uggs

Girl: "This one time at the zoo I got to hold a baby kangaroo. He was so cute and fuzzy and soft! I wanted to make him into a pair of slippers."

--Tressider Union

And after they die, they vote

("Old people go to Florida to die.")

--Chinese class, History Corner

Well, now she's angry...

Guy #1, pointing to corner: "This is your angry hole! This is where you
go curl up when you're angry!"
Guy #2: "Hmmm, angry hole? That's what I call your mother!"

--Toyon Hall