'R. Kelly Mistakes Killer Whale For Underage Girl'

Girl from San Diego: "My teacher used to work for Sea World, but his
first day on the job they put him in a Shamu costume and a little boy
ran up to him and peed on him."

--Bob

Like Strong Bad?

Girl: "You do such a good Mexican accent!"
Guy: "He IS Mexican!"

--FloMo Dining

Steve Jobs is a racist

South Asian Guy: "Your center button isn't working."
White Guy: "It doesn't work sometimes."
Filipino Girl: "I don't think this iPod recognizes people of color."

--Campus Drive (East)

Public Displays of A-freak-tion

Girl #1: "So we were rollerskating, and holding hands, and everyone was all couple-y..."
Girl #2: "Ohmigod! That's worse than freaking with a guy!"
Girl #1: "Oh, really?"
Girl #2: "Yeah!"

--CoHo

Breakfast of Champions

Sophomore: "I'm a History major, this is what I do!"
Frosh: "Drink in the bathroom?"

--The Quad (8:43am)

Rhyme? Reason?

Guy: "Haiku is easy! All you have to do is stop at 17 syllables."

--Toyon Hall

I'd hit that.

Male Roommate: "My TA is such a cute old man, except that he's like 25 and pure FOB."

--Lantana

Girl #1 is Asian

Girl #1: "There's a party at Bob tonight hosted by the Jewish frat and the Asian sorority."
Girl #2: "Really?"
Girl #1: "Yeah, but the Asian frat's gonna turn up anyway."
Girl #2: "Why?"
Girl #1: "'Cause everyone likes Asian pussy!"

--Toyon Hall